Well, taking your first born to college doesn't kill you! It cerainly was physically and emotionally brutal in the 100+ degree temperatures in August, along with feeling like you have left a vital organ behind as you are traveling back home with your forever changed family,(my nest certainly feeling the absence of one), but I am still breathing.
The physical part actually wasn't near as bad as I expected. The university has it down! Move in was certainly organized and her tons of stuff, plus her roommates all seemed to fit in that 16x10 space, and it ended up looking really cute.
The challenging part, of course was emotionally. I woke up yesterday with a pit in my stomach, crawled in bed with her to wake her up and of course the river started flowing- I couldn't believe she had her last night in her bed, under my roof before college. I still can't figure out where the time has gone!
The worst part was waking up my ten year old. The second he opened his eyes, he uttered, "no", and started into a full cry. It was heartbreaking. The realization that THE DAY had finally come was more than either of us could stand. My little one couldn't stop the tears until we got on the road. He and I rode with her in her car, and my husband and other son took the overflowing suburban! It was a great trip up- chatting, listening to her favorite music, it's amazing how fast that 3+ hour car trip went. I think my saving grace was watching her excitement and enthusiasm grow!
Fast forward from unpacking, organizing....a "linner (lunch/dinner) break......to DEPARTURE! The interesting thing was, I think she was kind of ready for us to go. Her roommates parents were long gone and 4 extra people in the room was getting overwhelming. Despite a hiccup with the printer set up, it was pretty much all done. I was actually feeling okay, until my little one was hugging her so tight with lots of tears. He just couldn't let go- when he finally did her shirt was wet! I was told to say goodbye to her in her room and to not make her watch us drive off, but she and her roommate were headed to Target so we let them go on ahead. All of a sudden my little one "needed one more hug" and took off running to catch her. He did. There we stood on the sidewalk, and SHE finally lost it! We were all headed to the same area so she did end up walking with us to the car. Between the room and the final goodbye, I can't count on just one hand how many big hugs nd wet goodbyes we must have had.
I actually loved seeing her bouncing off with her roommate, God gave me a sense of peace and clarity she was off on her new adventure! Bitter sweet as my little one rolled down his window with tears streaming down his face hollering, "Bye Sissy, I Love You!" Thankfully she had her big beautiful smile as she waved goodbye!
I will confess, the drive home was MUCH LONGER than the drive up and the tears came and went in waves, the worst were pulling in to home. I haven't gone near her room yet, just can't handle the emptiness of it quite yet. In my devotional today, God gave me this scripture:
Though the mountains may be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the Lord, who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:10
Today, I will stand under His love relying on His peace!
My scripture for my little bird on her first full day on her new adventure:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13
I believe that my baby girl's wings are working!
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