As Thanksgiving is approaching I find myself focusing on the many blessings in my life (and there are so many)....and trying to minimize the struggles, hardships and difficult things, BUT then I am reminded that we are to be thankful for ALL things....
1 Thessalonians 5:18
give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Last week, my 17 year old son broke his ankle during his last football game of the season. It was scary, frustrating and discouraging all at the same time. This is his 5th some what "big" injury and there have been so many minor ones that I can't even count the number of xrays and MRI's this kid has had over the past 6 years. Everything is more challenging: mobility, showering, the moodiness....
But today,I will thank Him that my son broke his ankle last week (strange I know), but as much as I pray for the Lord's protection before and during his football practices and games, I know this was the Lord's protection from something much worse. I thank Him, that I get to regain precious time with my 17 year old because when your right foot is broken you CAN'T DRIVE...so I have more time with him as I drive him to and fro and he is simply home more when he is on crutches and casted for 6 weeks.
I thank Him for precious family members diagnosed with scary illnesses that make us all stop and think about what was and what will be. I know that God will show Himself in amazing ways in the situation and I wait expectantly to see what He is up to.
I thank Him for the many friends He has placed in my life that are going through tremendous struggles- and I am blessed with the priveledge to pray for and with them.
While I miss my baby girl like crazy, today, I will thank HIM that my daughter has the opportunity to attend a wonderful university, that she is making precious friendships AND growing in her faith along with getting an amazing education. I simply can't believe this is our life- one without her living under our roof, but God is growing and equipping all of us while we endure the change.
This has been the longest we have gone without seeing her, and I can't wait until she gets home on Tuesday! I think it will be a special Thanksgiving as we will each appreciate our time with her so much.
I stand confident that God is good ALL OF THE TIME and for that knowledge, I AM EXTREMELY THANKFUL!
Friday, November 16, 2012
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Homesick for Her Bed!
"I'm a little bit homesick. I miss my bed and you guys!!"
Ughhh, not the text message I wanted to receive. I think there must be a lot of that going around. Lots of tests, not enough sleep, weather changing, a break coming but maybe just not soon enough. We worked really hard to make her dorm room bed REALLY comfy, but I love that she misses her childhood bed.
I think about how we moved her into that bed when she was just 15 months old. The next baby was on the way and I did not want to have two cribs, so my mom gave me my old double bed. She was so little that she didn't even know she could get out of it. We always worked hard to develop good sleep habits with our kids. When they are little they always want to grow big! When they were little we reminded them that God allowed their body to grow while they were sleeping! My baby girl grew into a precocious preschooler, a silly elementary schooler, a diligent drama free middle schooler, a hard working dedicated highschool student, and now she is an amazing young collegiate woman missing that brightly colored covered double bed of her youth!
This momma misses seeing her little girl sleeping soundly in that bed!
Ughhh, not the text message I wanted to receive. I think there must be a lot of that going around. Lots of tests, not enough sleep, weather changing, a break coming but maybe just not soon enough. We worked really hard to make her dorm room bed REALLY comfy, but I love that she misses her childhood bed.
I think about how we moved her into that bed when she was just 15 months old. The next baby was on the way and I did not want to have two cribs, so my mom gave me my old double bed. She was so little that she didn't even know she could get out of it. We always worked hard to develop good sleep habits with our kids. When they are little they always want to grow big! When they were little we reminded them that God allowed their body to grow while they were sleeping! My baby girl grew into a precocious preschooler, a silly elementary schooler, a diligent drama free middle schooler, a hard working dedicated highschool student, and now she is an amazing young collegiate woman missing that brightly colored covered double bed of her youth!
This momma misses seeing her little girl sleeping soundly in that bed!
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
"Has it Gotten Any Easier," You Ask
Someone asked me today, "has it gotten any easier?" I find myself really thinking about that question...
Yes, I don't burst into tears quite as often, but I still miss her so much it hurts. I have altered my focus on the fact that she is healthy, happy and YES, HER WINGS SEEM TO BE WORKING pretty well. Oh how I Praise my God for that! She seems to "need" me just enough to keep me "feeling needed" which helps this momma!
Sending her a scripture via text message daily also helps, as she always responds and that usually opens the window to a little chat about what she has ahead for the day. I hope it feels as encouraging for her as it does for me. One day, my plate was so full that I was delayed in getting a scripture to her, and she sent me a note that said, "no scripture today, mom?" I was glad to know that she missed it and am thankful that God is using is word to bless her each day.
I know that I had dug my heels in on discovering and allowing a new normal to occur around here, but somehow it happened without me looking. Dinner with the four remaining of us sitting at the kitchen table doesn't feel so strange any more, I don't holler her name up the stairs and feel the kick in the gut that "oh yeah, she isn't here", I don't look for her car to pull in, I don't assume she will be here to babysit my little one if need be (by the way, having to hire and pay a sitter again is a BUMMER!), I don't accidentally buy the special things from the grocery I use to keep around here for her, BUT
I must confess that I do occasionally, when no one is looking or around, head into her room, lay on her bed and have a good cry.
The new normal doesn't feel like it will ever feel NORMAL!
She sent ME this one!
Romans 12:12 Let your hope make you glad. Be patient in time of trouble and never stop praying.
Just a few verses from recently:
Psalms 37:5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act.
Proverbs 16:3 Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established.
Genesis 28:15 I am with you and will watch you over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land.
Psalm 29:11 The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.
Deuteronomy 31:8 The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Psalm 16:8 I keep the Lord in mind always. Because He is at my right hand, I will nto be shaken.
Proverbs 10:30 The righteous will never be uprooted.
Psalm 73: 25-26 Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Phillipians 1:9-11 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ- to the glory and praise of God.
Yes, I don't burst into tears quite as often, but I still miss her so much it hurts. I have altered my focus on the fact that she is healthy, happy and YES, HER WINGS SEEM TO BE WORKING pretty well. Oh how I Praise my God for that! She seems to "need" me just enough to keep me "feeling needed" which helps this momma!
Sending her a scripture via text message daily also helps, as she always responds and that usually opens the window to a little chat about what she has ahead for the day. I hope it feels as encouraging for her as it does for me. One day, my plate was so full that I was delayed in getting a scripture to her, and she sent me a note that said, "no scripture today, mom?" I was glad to know that she missed it and am thankful that God is using is word to bless her each day.
I know that I had dug my heels in on discovering and allowing a new normal to occur around here, but somehow it happened without me looking. Dinner with the four remaining of us sitting at the kitchen table doesn't feel so strange any more, I don't holler her name up the stairs and feel the kick in the gut that "oh yeah, she isn't here", I don't look for her car to pull in, I don't assume she will be here to babysit my little one if need be (by the way, having to hire and pay a sitter again is a BUMMER!), I don't accidentally buy the special things from the grocery I use to keep around here for her, BUT
I must confess that I do occasionally, when no one is looking or around, head into her room, lay on her bed and have a good cry.
The new normal doesn't feel like it will ever feel NORMAL!
She sent ME this one!
Romans 12:12 Let your hope make you glad. Be patient in time of trouble and never stop praying.
Just a few verses from recently:
Psalms 37:5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act.
Proverbs 16:3 Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established.
Genesis 28:15 I am with you and will watch you over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land.
Psalm 29:11 The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.
Deuteronomy 31:8 The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Psalm 16:8 I keep the Lord in mind always. Because He is at my right hand, I will nto be shaken.
Proverbs 10:30 The righteous will never be uprooted.
Psalm 73: 25-26 Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Phillipians 1:9-11 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ- to the glory and praise of God.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
"She Missed MY Voice"
My day was made....we text ALL the time each and everyday, but rarely talk on the phone for more than a couple of minutes, TODAY she called because "she missed my voice!" talk about melting this momma's heart into a big puddle. She was so chatty and I love hearing about all the little things and being able to ask questions. Our just over an hour chat was wonderful and it was obvious she was just needing a little piece of home. She cracked me up because she was telling me that the other day she was really missing her daddy. What she was missing was something she probably rolled her eyes about when she was home....his regular and very often "BE SAFE", as she came to and from home. It is nice to know your missed when you are painfully missing someone so much!
It was hard to want to hang up, Thanksgiving break CAN'T get here soon enough for this momma AND her girl!
It was hard to want to hang up, Thanksgiving break CAN'T get here soon enough for this momma AND her girl!
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
When Will it Get Easier?
Wanting that third baby all those years ago when my big kids were half grown created such an interesting family dynamic. I wouldn't change it for the world, but it never entered my mind that the little one would be left behind. It is heart wrenching to witness him saying goodbye to his beloved sissy. Their relationship is precious and such a sweet gift, but it is SO hard on him. His goodbye had to come last night because he leaves for school so early in the mornng. When they figured out on the calendar that she wouldn't return for 44 days, his personal heartbreak set in. Nothing like watching your little one cry himself to sleep, and wake up to crawl in his sister's bed and carefully give her ONE MORE kiss and snuggle. It is MY JOB to make this all better for him so I have concocted a plan to allow him to play hooky for a day and we will cruise up for the day to have lunch and hang out with her for a bit sometime in the next 22 days!! HE will certainly need that! It will be all about meeting HIS needs because 44 days is long for a 10 year old!! :) After all, it is my fault for birthing him and putting him in this difficult situation.
Her university has a fall break (lucky us!) with school resuming on Wednesday. Five days with her home was awesome! I am telling you, just having that girl asleep under the same roof and in HER bed feels like winning the lottery. Now, I have never won the lottery, but it must be a great feeling! I love the chatter and joy she brings to our house! It is just not even close to the same without her. My daily texting dialogues with her are wonderful, but hearing her voice and watching her eyes light up is so much better!
I am waiting for the day that it gets easier to say "see you later", but almost 2 months in..... No relief for this momma! The sad thing is, I will see her on Friday, in 3 days, but watching her drive out of my driveway this afternoon still felt like a rip in my heart. So, all of you that have gone before me on this journey... I am still waiting for it to get easier! When will it get easier?
Her university has a fall break (lucky us!) with school resuming on Wednesday. Five days with her home was awesome! I am telling you, just having that girl asleep under the same roof and in HER bed feels like winning the lottery. Now, I have never won the lottery, but it must be a great feeling! I love the chatter and joy she brings to our house! It is just not even close to the same without her. My daily texting dialogues with her are wonderful, but hearing her voice and watching her eyes light up is so much better!
I am waiting for the day that it gets easier to say "see you later", but almost 2 months in..... No relief for this momma! The sad thing is, I will see her on Friday, in 3 days, but watching her drive out of my driveway this afternoon still felt like a rip in my heart. So, all of you that have gone before me on this journey... I am still waiting for it to get easier! When will it get easier?
Monday, October 8, 2012
Most Recent Daily Scriptures for my College Student
Jeremiah 30:17 "For I will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds," says the Lord.
Psalm 136:2 Give thanks to the God of gods. His love endures for ever.
Colossians 1:11-12 May you be strengthened with all power according to His glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.
2 Thessalonians 3:5 May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance.
Ephesians 2:10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which He prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Mark 12:30 Love the Lored you God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.
Proverbs 16:3 Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.
Philippians 1:9-11 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ.
Psalm 119:105 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.
Philippians 4:19 But my God shall supply all yoru needs accordign to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Psalm 55:22 Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.
Psalm 50:15 Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Stomach Bug Interference!
My calendar had been counting down the days until we could reunite with my little bird on her new turf! FAMILY WEEKEND! Life had been so busy with my substitute job, keeping up with the boys and their crazy schedule that the day arrived so quickly. I left my husband with all the bags packed at home
and he was scheduled to pick us all up from our different schools and we would hit the road.....
Wouldn't you know, my month spent constantly with 22 8-9 year olds caught up with me. The stomach bug hit about 45 minutes before we were to leave. I found myself crying in the elementary school nurses office- devastated. The precious school nurse had just started to see the bug, and believed it to be a quick one.
I called my husband, he rushed up and we made the decision to go ahead and go. Barf bags, ginger ale, saltine crackers, accedopholis, blanket and pillows in hand, we got on the road for our 3 hour journey down 1-35. She kept texting us, so excited and I was so sad to tell her I WAS SICK!
We arrived without too much car drama and a fairly good nap, but I couldn't get in the hotel bed fast enough. Dad and boys went to have dinner with her at the sorority house, and my 17 year old ended up staying with her. 2012- boys can stay in an all freshman girls dorm! STRANGE! He certainly had the time of his life, going out with her and meeting all the beautiful college women. He ended up staying with her all weekend. They had such a great time together and I am so thankful for that. Of course at 17 he isn't near as verbal about his feelings (actually about much of anything), but I KNOW he was missing her and excited to get to spend so much time with her.
Of course my little one was extremely jealous and felt as if his big brother was hogging sissy's time! Anyway, wouldn't you know, my husband woke up not feeling so great. I felt much better and determined that I wasn't going to miss the game. Not sure if it was mind overvmatter, but i was determined to see my girl and have a great day! We had great tickets, so my little one and I left my husband in bed (he was crushed) and took the shuttle over to campus!! It was thrilling to get to see her. We headed over to the game, to our wonderful seats and it was SO HOT. Not good for my recovering stomach bug infested body. We made it through the first half and had to seek out airconditioning. BUMMER!
We watched the game on campus in airconditioning, thankfully it ended in a win! How pathetic that we all decided to head to our prospective beds for a NAP. My husband bounced back and we headed out to a fun family dinner. It was just great to hear her chatter about her friends and experiences.
Sunday, I woke up feeling queasy, not because of the annoying, interfering bug, but because another "see you later" was impending! We had a great day! Took her to lunch, shopping for groceries, hung out in her dorm and met more of her darling friends. It was for sure the best part! Departing is always hard, but she was ready for us to go as she needed to do some studying. My little one was sobbing, which doesn't help this weepy momma with contagious tears.
We left there just praying we didn't leave her with the bug- thankfully we didn't. We discovered that time with her is precious no matter what pesky interferences try to get in the way, and while it wasn't the weekend we envisioned or planned-God knew and He blessed the time that we did have together, and I probably would have "hogged her" and she wouldn't have had that special time with her brother!!!
God is good ALL the time!
and he was scheduled to pick us all up from our different schools and we would hit the road.....
Wouldn't you know, my month spent constantly with 22 8-9 year olds caught up with me. The stomach bug hit about 45 minutes before we were to leave. I found myself crying in the elementary school nurses office- devastated. The precious school nurse had just started to see the bug, and believed it to be a quick one.
I called my husband, he rushed up and we made the decision to go ahead and go. Barf bags, ginger ale, saltine crackers, accedopholis, blanket and pillows in hand, we got on the road for our 3 hour journey down 1-35. She kept texting us, so excited and I was so sad to tell her I WAS SICK!
We arrived without too much car drama and a fairly good nap, but I couldn't get in the hotel bed fast enough. Dad and boys went to have dinner with her at the sorority house, and my 17 year old ended up staying with her. 2012- boys can stay in an all freshman girls dorm! STRANGE! He certainly had the time of his life, going out with her and meeting all the beautiful college women. He ended up staying with her all weekend. They had such a great time together and I am so thankful for that. Of course at 17 he isn't near as verbal about his feelings (actually about much of anything), but I KNOW he was missing her and excited to get to spend so much time with her.
Of course my little one was extremely jealous and felt as if his big brother was hogging sissy's time! Anyway, wouldn't you know, my husband woke up not feeling so great. I felt much better and determined that I wasn't going to miss the game. Not sure if it was mind overvmatter, but i was determined to see my girl and have a great day! We had great tickets, so my little one and I left my husband in bed (he was crushed) and took the shuttle over to campus!! It was thrilling to get to see her. We headed over to the game, to our wonderful seats and it was SO HOT. Not good for my recovering stomach bug infested body. We made it through the first half and had to seek out airconditioning. BUMMER!
We watched the game on campus in airconditioning, thankfully it ended in a win! How pathetic that we all decided to head to our prospective beds for a NAP. My husband bounced back and we headed out to a fun family dinner. It was just great to hear her chatter about her friends and experiences.
Sunday, I woke up feeling queasy, not because of the annoying, interfering bug, but because another "see you later" was impending! We had a great day! Took her to lunch, shopping for groceries, hung out in her dorm and met more of her darling friends. It was for sure the best part! Departing is always hard, but she was ready for us to go as she needed to do some studying. My little one was sobbing, which doesn't help this weepy momma with contagious tears.
We left there just praying we didn't leave her with the bug- thankfully we didn't. We discovered that time with her is precious no matter what pesky interferences try to get in the way, and while it wasn't the weekend we envisioned or planned-God knew and He blessed the time that we did have together, and I probably would have "hogged her" and she wouldn't have had that special time with her brother!!!
God is good ALL the time!
Monday, September 24, 2012
One Blessed 45 Year Old Momma!!
Woke up last Wednesday, turning 45. The number makes me feel officially middle aged, not a day I really wanted to "celebrate". Grateful for life- yes! Blessed beyond imagination, yes! Feeling a bit old these days, YES!!!
Husband was out of town, headed to spend the day with my 22 eight and nine year old students, blessed with a special delivery from dear friends (cake, breakfast, my favorite treats, flowers and balloons). It prompted my students to sing to me and it was so sweet!
After school, my exhausted feet were screaming for a pedicure, so I decided to drop my little one at home, call a dear friend to meet me and headed to the nail salon. Relaxing in the chair, enjoying the relaxation and I catch a glimpse of my boys with balloons. I whisper to my friend, " I think my boys are about to walk in." Shockingly it wasn't just my sweet boys- it was MY GIRL too! I couldn't figure out what was happening. Of course we both burst into tears with our," come by it honestly weepy gene", and hug the best hug I had experienced in weeks. Best pedicure I've ever had!
I must admit, I miss her terribly every day, and that day wasn't any different than any other. I didn't even feel extra sorry for myself that she wasn't going to be there, BUT the fact that she was, probably made it one of the best birthdays ever!!! No one knew (except my two sons who I still can't believe kept it a secret), not even her daddy, that she was driving home just for me!!
What a wonderful birthday dinner we had, a sad "see you later" early the next morning as I headed off for my sub job, and she headed out to make it to class, BUT having her home in her bed on MY birthday- greatest gift ever!
I am one blessed 45 year old momma!!
Husband was out of town, headed to spend the day with my 22 eight and nine year old students, blessed with a special delivery from dear friends (cake, breakfast, my favorite treats, flowers and balloons). It prompted my students to sing to me and it was so sweet!
After school, my exhausted feet were screaming for a pedicure, so I decided to drop my little one at home, call a dear friend to meet me and headed to the nail salon. Relaxing in the chair, enjoying the relaxation and I catch a glimpse of my boys with balloons. I whisper to my friend, " I think my boys are about to walk in." Shockingly it wasn't just my sweet boys- it was MY GIRL too! I couldn't figure out what was happening. Of course we both burst into tears with our," come by it honestly weepy gene", and hug the best hug I had experienced in weeks. Best pedicure I've ever had!
I must admit, I miss her terribly every day, and that day wasn't any different than any other. I didn't even feel extra sorry for myself that she wasn't going to be there, BUT the fact that she was, probably made it one of the best birthdays ever!!! No one knew (except my two sons who I still can't believe kept it a secret), not even her daddy, that she was driving home just for me!!
What a wonderful birthday dinner we had, a sad "see you later" early the next morning as I headed off for my sub job, and she headed out to make it to class, BUT having her home in her bed on MY birthday- greatest gift ever!
I am one blessed 45 year old momma!!
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Brotherly Love!
These little brothers sure miss their sissy! My 17 year old retrieved a Facebook picture of the two of them in a tight embrace when they were REALLY little, and posted it on his facebook wall mentioning how much he was missing her. It brings this mom lots of joy that my children love, value and appreciate each other. I can get so caught up in my selfish feelings of missing her so terribly that I get walloped in the gut when I see my boys so deeply affected by her move.
My little one has expressed that it is the hardest on him because we got her for 18 years and he only got her for 10, and he can't even remember most of those years.
We are all so excited as family weekend is next weekend and we can't wait to see her precious face, hug her neck and spend some time in her new world.
My baby has been exhausted and a little sick! :(
Isaiah 40:30-31 Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles;they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
2 Corinthians
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made effect in weakness." Therefore I will boas all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Proverbs 22:6
Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.
So proud of the character and integrity she exhibits at a phase of life when children are bombarded with worldly choices.
Hebrews 11:6
But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarded of those who diligently seek Him.
Isaiah 26:3
You will keep in perfect peace her whose mind is steadfast, because she trusts in you.
1Peter 1:8
Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy!
Sure am missing being around that joyful personality!!!
Phillipians 2:13 It is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasures.
I KNOW that God is doing amazing things both in and through her. I am thankful He is the one in control!
My little one has expressed that it is the hardest on him because we got her for 18 years and he only got her for 10, and he can't even remember most of those years.
We are all so excited as family weekend is next weekend and we can't wait to see her precious face, hug her neck and spend some time in her new world.
My baby has been exhausted and a little sick! :(
Isaiah 40:30-31 Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles;they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
2 Corinthians
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made effect in weakness." Therefore I will boas all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Proverbs 22:6
Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.
So proud of the character and integrity she exhibits at a phase of life when children are bombarded with worldly choices.
Hebrews 11:6
But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarded of those who diligently seek Him.
Isaiah 26:3
You will keep in perfect peace her whose mind is steadfast, because she trusts in you.
1Peter 1:8
Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy!
Sure am missing being around that joyful personality!!!
Phillipians 2:13 It is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasures.
I KNOW that God is doing amazing things both in and through her. I am thankful He is the one in control!
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Surviving
Well, it has been over a week since she came home for Labor Day and of course left again. I can't express how fabulous it was to see her AND hug her precious neck. About the last hour of her drive, she called several times to report where she was. When she walked in the door, she was immediately in tears. I think she was just so happy to see us and it was the moment she realized she missed home. I am thankful she isn't homesick and unhappy while she is away, but happy to know she values "home". Our time was wonderful- just having her in her own bed was the best! She slept a lot (CLEARLY she isn't doing enough of that!), and we just enjoyed her prescence.
As much as I would have loved to just keep her home (my little one continually reminded her of the community college nearby), she seemed excited to head back. While I woke up that day with a pit in my stomach thinking about another "see you later", I was glad for her enthusiasm and excitement to get back and see the friends she missed. I remember vividly, the feeling of getting close to home AND the feeling of returning to school. Both were great, and that certainly is what I want for her!
Watching her drive out of our driveway was still brutal, and most of the day I was in a bit of a funk, but I do seem to feel a little better as a whole. In being honest, I do occasionally feel a punch in the gut of grief at least once a day. I think it is just the physical pain of missing her, and I do NOT always end up in tears which feels like progress.
I am so blessed to have a daughter who wants to include me in her life. I don't think there has been more than a day that goes by that she doesn't send me a picture of her with friends doing something fun. I even occasionally get a video clip of something she is seeing! Oh how it is my saving grace!!
Another wonderful thing is the little nuggets of God's word I send her daily, because I always get a response that allows me to hear fom her at the start of her day!!! I am SURVIVING and her wings seem to be working! THANK YOU, GOD!!!
(If you have any scriptures you think would be good to share, please post them in a comment- I would be thrilled!)
Here are some of the scriptures I have sent her in the past week and a half:
Psalm 34:7
The angel of the Lord encamped around those who fear Him, and He delivers them.
(The day she drove home)
Psalm 126:3
The Lord has done great things for us! We are glad!
(Celebrating her getting to come home, and all the wonderful collegiate experiences she is getting to have!)
Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
(Fearful about a test)
Psalm 121:1-2
I will lift my eyes unto the hills, from where my help comes from. My help comes from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.
(a bit overwhelmed finding the balance of fun, rest and studying)
Exhaustion set in!! Isaiah 40-30-31. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
As much as I would have loved to just keep her home (my little one continually reminded her of the community college nearby), she seemed excited to head back. While I woke up that day with a pit in my stomach thinking about another "see you later", I was glad for her enthusiasm and excitement to get back and see the friends she missed. I remember vividly, the feeling of getting close to home AND the feeling of returning to school. Both were great, and that certainly is what I want for her!
Watching her drive out of our driveway was still brutal, and most of the day I was in a bit of a funk, but I do seem to feel a little better as a whole. In being honest, I do occasionally feel a punch in the gut of grief at least once a day. I think it is just the physical pain of missing her, and I do NOT always end up in tears which feels like progress.
I am so blessed to have a daughter who wants to include me in her life. I don't think there has been more than a day that goes by that she doesn't send me a picture of her with friends doing something fun. I even occasionally get a video clip of something she is seeing! Oh how it is my saving grace!!
Another wonderful thing is the little nuggets of God's word I send her daily, because I always get a response that allows me to hear fom her at the start of her day!!! I am SURVIVING and her wings seem to be working! THANK YOU, GOD!!!
(If you have any scriptures you think would be good to share, please post them in a comment- I would be thrilled!)
Here are some of the scriptures I have sent her in the past week and a half:
Psalm 34:7
The angel of the Lord encamped around those who fear Him, and He delivers them.
(The day she drove home)
Psalm 126:3
The Lord has done great things for us! We are glad!
(Celebrating her getting to come home, and all the wonderful collegiate experiences she is getting to have!)
Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
(Fearful about a test)
Psalm 121:1-2
I will lift my eyes unto the hills, from where my help comes from. My help comes from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.
(a bit overwhelmed finding the balance of fun, rest and studying)
Exhaustion set in!! Isaiah 40-30-31. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Sweetest Thing....
Sweetest thing ever....my sweet girl playing "her song" - which is Taylor Swift's song for her little brother, NEVER GROW UP- for her little brother on the guitar and singing to him before he went to bed this evening. Listening from the other room blessed my heart so much. He has been so afraid that his sissy is going to turn into an adult and not want to hang out with him anymore. She is THE BEST big sister! She has made so much special time for her little brother that so desperately needed quality time with her this weekend while she has been home. Tomorrow's goodbye won't be easy, but I think it will help that she didn't appear to grow up too much for him, her first 3 weeks away.
What a gift it has been to have her home- everything just feels right in my world with her sleeping in her own bed (she has certainly done a lot of that as she seems exhausted!) and just having her here! I have even LOVED doing the mounds of laundry she brought home!
Just treasuring the minutes.....they go way to fast!
What a gift it has been to have her home- everything just feels right in my world with her sleeping in her own bed (she has certainly done a lot of that as she seems exhausted!) and just having her here! I have even LOVED doing the mounds of laundry she brought home!
Just treasuring the minutes.....they go way to fast!
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Exhausted....but Distracted!
My feet hurt and I am exhausted, BUT my heart is full and I am officially distracted! I have been blessed to spend the past 3 days with 22 of the cutest, sweetest and smartest 3rd graders. They are darling and I have been fully reminded that I LOVE being a teacher. My house is a wreck, food is scarce for the boys (hubby out of town all week), my desk is covered with a bunch of "to do's", so I definitely haven't figured out the balance thing! There certainly isn't time to sit and create puddles of tears and did I mention that MY LITTLE BIRD is coming home in 2 days?? I am pretty sure that has helped minimize the puddles around here as well.
I am so thankful that God has given us a close relationship that enables her to communicate so well and so often. It certainly makes this transition just a little bit easier....I can barely contain myself when I think about not havinng to text her and getting to hug her neck IN TWO DAYS!!!!
Some words God has given me to pass on to her this week:
Be earnest and unwearied and steadfast in your prayer life, being both alert and intent in your praying with thanksgiving. Colossians 4:2
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. 2 Corinthians 9:8
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13
I am so thankful that God has given us a close relationship that enables her to communicate so well and so often. It certainly makes this transition just a little bit easier....I can barely contain myself when I think about not havinng to text her and getting to hug her neck IN TWO DAYS!!!!
Some words God has given me to pass on to her this week:
Be earnest and unwearied and steadfast in your prayer life, being both alert and intent in your praying with thanksgiving. Colossians 4:2
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. 2 Corinthians 9:8
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13
Sunday, August 26, 2012
My Gift of Distraction!
I have been given a wonderful opportunity for a distraction from "my baby's gone to college " blues! A precious teacher at my little one's elementary school had her first baby this summer and I am going to substitute for her for 5 weeks so she can spend a little more time with her BABY GIRL! What a sweet gift from God for me to be able to help her spend more time with her daughter while I am missing my own so much.
The teacher and I worked all these past week preparing for the students and we both had many weepy moments together- missing our precious daughters. It certainly was the longest she had been away from her infant, and for me it is just trying to discover a new normal. I was able to share this scripture with her (one that I had sent my little bird on a REAL bluesy day):
May the Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other. Genesis 31:49
I think the day I sent that one, it might have been more for my encouragement than hers! She seems to be doing just fine! Loves her classes, friends, roommate, dorm, the food isn't her favorite, but all in all God is blessing her with a wonderful experience!
Me? I still get weepy everyday. You can't imagine the silly things that start the water works! Tomorrow, will be the first time in 17 or 18 years that I have had a "first day of school" as a teacher! I have those fun nervous butterflies, and am so thankful God gave me the opportunity to help someone enjoy precious time with their daughter AND to pour into 22 3rd graders who are so precious to their parents. It is a gift to me!!!
Other scriptures I sent this week:
Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.
Psalm 34:8. Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him.
Deuteronomy 31:8. The Lord Himself will go before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forget you.
Psalm 5:11-12 But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them that those who love your name may rejoice in you. For surely, O Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield.
Oh Lord, protect my baby girl!!
The teacher and I worked all these past week preparing for the students and we both had many weepy moments together- missing our precious daughters. It certainly was the longest she had been away from her infant, and for me it is just trying to discover a new normal. I was able to share this scripture with her (one that I had sent my little bird on a REAL bluesy day):
May the Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other. Genesis 31:49
I think the day I sent that one, it might have been more for my encouragement than hers! She seems to be doing just fine! Loves her classes, friends, roommate, dorm, the food isn't her favorite, but all in all God is blessing her with a wonderful experience!
Me? I still get weepy everyday. You can't imagine the silly things that start the water works! Tomorrow, will be the first time in 17 or 18 years that I have had a "first day of school" as a teacher! I have those fun nervous butterflies, and am so thankful God gave me the opportunity to help someone enjoy precious time with their daughter AND to pour into 22 3rd graders who are so precious to their parents. It is a gift to me!!!
Other scriptures I sent this week:
Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.
Psalm 34:8. Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him.
Deuteronomy 31:8. The Lord Himself will go before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forget you.
Psalm 5:11-12 But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them that those who love your name may rejoice in you. For surely, O Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield.
Oh Lord, protect my baby girl!!
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
FaceTime- My New Favorite Technology!
FaceTime is awesome!!! My little one has been asking for days to FaceTime with his sissy. Unfortunately their schedules have not allowed the opportunity until TODAY! He has had a couple of weepy days and was "just needing to see her eyes!". As much as I enjoy the text messages throughout the day (contact and information), occasional phone calls (her voice), Face Time is the best of both plus we get to see her eyes and smile!! My little one was right, seeing her eyes is wonderful! After hanging up, there were a few more tears. My little one said, some were the missing sad tears and some where the happy kind of tears because he got to see her! (My tears were the contagious kind!)
Day two of her classes was good! Now she has been to all five classes. She attended what she knows will be her hardest class this afternoon, and of course it was the first and only class to already assign her some work, so now the reality of being a student is setting in!
Knowing how anxious and fearful she can get about school with her great desire to be successful, this was the verse I sent her this morning:
The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. Hebrews 13:6
It is hard to believe that we are only 10 days into this adventure of my first born NOT living with us. We haven't made a lot of progress, in fact I feel a little stuck in this strange space. A space where her room is empty, clean and quiet; a little bit of the chatter and joy is painfully missing; and we clearly have not discovered our new normal. Maybe it is a little bit of denial because I am not sure how comfortable I am with THIS SPACE, and am pretty sure it isn't normal!
Day two of her classes was good! Now she has been to all five classes. She attended what she knows will be her hardest class this afternoon, and of course it was the first and only class to already assign her some work, so now the reality of being a student is setting in!
Knowing how anxious and fearful she can get about school with her great desire to be successful, this was the verse I sent her this morning:
The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. Hebrews 13:6
It is hard to believe that we are only 10 days into this adventure of my first born NOT living with us. We haven't made a lot of progress, in fact I feel a little stuck in this strange space. A space where her room is empty, clean and quiet; a little bit of the chatter and joy is painfully missing; and we clearly have not discovered our new normal. Maybe it is a little bit of denial because I am not sure how comfortable I am with THIS SPACE, and am pretty sure it isn't normal!
Monday, August 20, 2012
First day of College- the School Part!!!
First day of college classes for my girl! (she even had a friend take an obligatory first day of school picture and sent it to me- isn't she the best!?) How fortunate is she that her first class is at 10:00 a.m. as a freshmen! She loved the three classes she attended today and seemed so excited- her text messages had lots of exclamation points which means LOTS of enthusiasm to me!!
With all the hustle and bustle of moving in, sorority recruitment, and adjusting to a new city, it sure seems like the actual school part got a little lost in the shuffle, however she is there to get an education!
There are so many things I don't like about technology and it's distractions, BUT what I really love about it is the ability to check in with her via text, anytime and all the time! She has made it so fun for me sending me pictures of all (well, I am sure not ALL), but lots of things she is doing. I love seeing her smiling face with her new friends doing fun things!
My encouragement to her today on this BIG milestone as her first day as a college student:
Let your light shine before others that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:16
I also repeatedly remind her TO NOT DRINK THE PUNCH!!!!! :)
With all the hustle and bustle of moving in, sorority recruitment, and adjusting to a new city, it sure seems like the actual school part got a little lost in the shuffle, however she is there to get an education!
There are so many things I don't like about technology and it's distractions, BUT what I really love about it is the ability to check in with her via text, anytime and all the time! She has made it so fun for me sending me pictures of all (well, I am sure not ALL), but lots of things she is doing. I love seeing her smiling face with her new friends doing fun things!
My encouragement to her today on this BIG milestone as her first day as a college student:
Let your light shine before others that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:16
I also repeatedly remind her TO NOT DRINK THE PUNCH!!!!! :)
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Glad Recruitment is Done!
As a sorority recruitment advisor I found recruitment to be exhausting, but really fun. As a mother.....it might be a little bit of living hell on earth! Waiting ALL day and evening to know how her day was that started at the crack of dawn was- torture!!! Things not going very smoothly for your baby girl- BRUTAL TORTURE and certainly a testing of the wings! Encouraging her continually that God's plan for her life will ultimately prevail was the only encouragement that could be offered during all of the unknowns.
For all of you that have to be a mom of a daughter going through recruitment in the coming days- I recommend you get your knee pads and start praying, but remember that God has her best interest at heart and His perfect plan WILL prevail with the perfect thing for Her!
Some scriptures I sent her throughout the process:
I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8
A man's mind plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps and makes them sure. Proverbs 16:9
Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you your heart's desires. Psalm 37:4
We prayed that God's will and her hearts desire would line up!
Ultimately we knew that whatever happened was His perfect plan for her! What a blessing for me and my sister (and of course for her!!) that at the end of the torture she became a member of our sorority! We will get to share so many special things with her and my daughter becoming my sister is pretty cool.
While it was so wonderful to see her, feed her, bring her the things she needed, do some more setting up and organizing her dorm room, it lingered in the back of my mind that I was going to have to do another "see you later". I am not a fan of those!!! This one certainly was interesting! While at a bid day celebration patio dinner, that was lovely by the way, as things were wrapping up the heavens began to pour. There was a mass exodus of the restaurant. All of the girls were headed to their buses to continue their celebration and I couldn't see her anywhere! Finally, outside the entrance to the bus I was able to give her a quick tearful hug (tearful for me) in the pouring rain! My poor sister had to have me blubbering in the car off and on as we headed back home.
Getting home last night, I just fell into bed, but today has been another day of puddles. I just miss her. I like to see her big brown eyes, her beautiful smile, and feel her amazing hugs. I am uncertain about when the next time will be. I am holding great hope that it will be labor day weekend, but we shall see!
Thankfully, so far, my little ones wings are being supported by THE ONE that loves her even more than me and I believe she is starting to soar!
One thing I have really learned this week.....I am really relieved to only have one daughter!!!!
For all of you that have to be a mom of a daughter going through recruitment in the coming days- I recommend you get your knee pads and start praying, but remember that God has her best interest at heart and His perfect plan WILL prevail with the perfect thing for Her!
Some scriptures I sent her throughout the process:
I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8
A man's mind plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps and makes them sure. Proverbs 16:9
Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you your heart's desires. Psalm 37:4
We prayed that God's will and her hearts desire would line up!
Ultimately we knew that whatever happened was His perfect plan for her! What a blessing for me and my sister (and of course for her!!) that at the end of the torture she became a member of our sorority! We will get to share so many special things with her and my daughter becoming my sister is pretty cool.
While it was so wonderful to see her, feed her, bring her the things she needed, do some more setting up and organizing her dorm room, it lingered in the back of my mind that I was going to have to do another "see you later". I am not a fan of those!!! This one certainly was interesting! While at a bid day celebration patio dinner, that was lovely by the way, as things were wrapping up the heavens began to pour. There was a mass exodus of the restaurant. All of the girls were headed to their buses to continue their celebration and I couldn't see her anywhere! Finally, outside the entrance to the bus I was able to give her a quick tearful hug (tearful for me) in the pouring rain! My poor sister had to have me blubbering in the car off and on as we headed back home.
Getting home last night, I just fell into bed, but today has been another day of puddles. I just miss her. I like to see her big brown eyes, her beautiful smile, and feel her amazing hugs. I am uncertain about when the next time will be. I am holding great hope that it will be labor day weekend, but we shall see!
Thankfully, so far, my little ones wings are being supported by THE ONE that loves her even more than me and I believe she is starting to soar!
One thing I have really learned this week.....I am really relieved to only have one daughter!!!!
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Even Grocery Shopping is Different!
Who would have thought that I would leave the grocery store in near tears (held them until I got in the car, thank goodness!). EVEN GROCERY SHOPPING IS DIFFERENT!!!! All of the things I buy with her in mind, her favorites, I kept having to pass up. Each time it happened made me more and more sad. It is just strange that everything is so different, and I wonder when I will get use to this new normal- will I ever??
The blessing is getting to chat via text in the morning (she is even sending pics so I can see her all decked out in her recruitment attire) and then to actually have a phone conversation to hear all the details about her day in the evening. She is having so much fun making new friends and meeting so many people. Her feet hurt, she is exhausted, seems a little overwhelmed, but she still sounds happy so I am relieved.
Tomorrow, the first time I see her will be inside my sorority house, with great hope it will become hers! I cannot wait!!!
Today's scripture:
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8
The blessing is getting to chat via text in the morning (she is even sending pics so I can see her all decked out in her recruitment attire) and then to actually have a phone conversation to hear all the details about her day in the evening. She is having so much fun making new friends and meeting so many people. Her feet hurt, she is exhausted, seems a little overwhelmed, but she still sounds happy so I am relieved.
Tomorrow, the first time I see her will be inside my sorority house, with great hope it will become hers! I cannot wait!!!
Today's scripture:
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Missing Her Like Crazy!
I. Just. Miss. Her! It is so strange how I am going about my daily tasks and am really doing okay and then I get a punch in the gut of full grief that just simply takes my breath away and of course brings on the tears. It is usually nothing significant that brings it on either, so strange, and i am wondering how long it will last. Her empty (not really empty, but empty of her and her mess!) is really difficult. She spent a lot of time in there and honestly, I like it better knowing she is there than 3+ hours down the road! My daughter gives the best hugs and it is amazing how much I miss them- it actually physically hurts (just telling the truth, not being dramatic!)
I didn't hear from her ALL DAY yesterday because they weren't allowed to have their phones with them and it didn't thrill me to get a text around 8:30 that said, "just got home." HOME???? Are you kidding me- HOME is here with me and clearly she wasn't here!! I did end up getting to have a 16 minute phone conversation that made my day, I don't mind the texting conversations (we continued to have a texting convo for over an hour planning her today's attire) but hearing her voice did this momma some good.
The change in attire through her for a loop. She had the perfect dress, shoes, earrings and even bracelet, but at the last minute Panhellenic changed things and STRONGLY encouraged them to wear shorts! Well, my little bird is a rule follower so thankfully she had plenty of options and the recruitment clothes crisis was diverted! What a blessing that she wanted my help instead of the 300+ girls she lives with. I am telling you, it doesn't take much for this momma!
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Encouragement for her that if she trusts Him with her life, and looks to Him, He will clearly guide her. Even to the right sorority.
Oh yeah, did I mention that I will get to see her in TWO DAYS!!! Heading up there to bring her some "much needed stuff" and participate in recruitment with her legacy! My sister is making the trip with me and WE CAN'T WAIT!!!
I didn't hear from her ALL DAY yesterday because they weren't allowed to have their phones with them and it didn't thrill me to get a text around 8:30 that said, "just got home." HOME???? Are you kidding me- HOME is here with me and clearly she wasn't here!! I did end up getting to have a 16 minute phone conversation that made my day, I don't mind the texting conversations (we continued to have a texting convo for over an hour planning her today's attire) but hearing her voice did this momma some good.
The change in attire through her for a loop. She had the perfect dress, shoes, earrings and even bracelet, but at the last minute Panhellenic changed things and STRONGLY encouraged them to wear shorts! Well, my little bird is a rule follower so thankfully she had plenty of options and the recruitment clothes crisis was diverted! What a blessing that she wanted my help instead of the 300+ girls she lives with. I am telling you, it doesn't take much for this momma!
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Encouragement for her that if she trusts Him with her life, and looks to Him, He will clearly guide her. Even to the right sorority.
Oh yeah, did I mention that I will get to see her in TWO DAYS!!! Heading up there to bring her some "much needed stuff" and participate in recruitment with her legacy! My sister is making the trip with me and WE CAN'T WAIT!!!
Monday, August 13, 2012
Recruitment Time!
Well, today is her first day of sorority recruitment! What keeps coming to my mind is that precious movie The Help and it's message as she starts this process: YOU IS KIND, YOU IS SMART, YOU IS IMPORTANT! Oh how I want her to be confident in those things (along with a few others) as she is going through what can often seem a superficial process, that can lead to a really special wonderful end! I can confidently say this because the process worked for me 27 years ago. I certainly had a fabulous time with my sorority sisters (probably too good of a time) and made the dearest life long friends. I can also know with complete confidence that the process works because I have been a recruitment advisor here in our hometown for the past 14 years. I have seen it work for thousands of young women over the years, but not without some heartbreak, lack of confidence, self doubt.....and on this end of the process, as somebody's mother, I don't want any of those negative emotions to come her way!
Of course she has the perfect dresses, shoes and accessories, carefully shopped for with not just me but her grandmother as well! She even texted last night to find out where I had put the wrinkle release spray so i am confident she will look the part, she will be physically ready (I am wondering if she could ever be prepared for the heat, the blisters on her feet and the sore cheeks from smiling so much, but she will have to figure that part out as she goes), and trust me, she is going to look darling each day!
My morning started with a 35 minute texting conversation about which earrings, shoes, hairstyles, extra deodorant, breath mints, sweat blotting pads......(she has no idea how much it blesses me to feel "needed") and most importantly this reminder of where I really want her confidence to come from!
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalms 139:14
Of course as her mother, I know that any sorority would be blessed to have her as a member! Off she goes, hopefully it will be a wonderful week for my little bird!
Of course she has the perfect dresses, shoes and accessories, carefully shopped for with not just me but her grandmother as well! She even texted last night to find out where I had put the wrinkle release spray so i am confident she will look the part, she will be physically ready (I am wondering if she could ever be prepared for the heat, the blisters on her feet and the sore cheeks from smiling so much, but she will have to figure that part out as she goes), and trust me, she is going to look darling each day!
My morning started with a 35 minute texting conversation about which earrings, shoes, hairstyles, extra deodorant, breath mints, sweat blotting pads......(she has no idea how much it blesses me to feel "needed") and most importantly this reminder of where I really want her confidence to come from!
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalms 139:14
Of course as her mother, I know that any sorority would be blessed to have her as a member! Off she goes, hopefully it will be a wonderful week for my little bird!
Sunday, August 12, 2012
It Didn't Kill Me, But My Nest Feels Real Empty!
Well, taking your first born to college doesn't kill you! It cerainly was physically and emotionally brutal in the 100+ degree temperatures in August, along with feeling like you have left a vital organ behind as you are traveling back home with your forever changed family,(my nest certainly feeling the absence of one), but I am still breathing.
The physical part actually wasn't near as bad as I expected. The university has it down! Move in was certainly organized and her tons of stuff, plus her roommates all seemed to fit in that 16x10 space, and it ended up looking really cute.
The challenging part, of course was emotionally. I woke up yesterday with a pit in my stomach, crawled in bed with her to wake her up and of course the river started flowing- I couldn't believe she had her last night in her bed, under my roof before college. I still can't figure out where the time has gone!
The worst part was waking up my ten year old. The second he opened his eyes, he uttered, "no", and started into a full cry. It was heartbreaking. The realization that THE DAY had finally come was more than either of us could stand. My little one couldn't stop the tears until we got on the road. He and I rode with her in her car, and my husband and other son took the overflowing suburban! It was a great trip up- chatting, listening to her favorite music, it's amazing how fast that 3+ hour car trip went. I think my saving grace was watching her excitement and enthusiasm grow!
Fast forward from unpacking, organizing....a "linner (lunch/dinner) break......to DEPARTURE! The interesting thing was, I think she was kind of ready for us to go. Her roommates parents were long gone and 4 extra people in the room was getting overwhelming. Despite a hiccup with the printer set up, it was pretty much all done. I was actually feeling okay, until my little one was hugging her so tight with lots of tears. He just couldn't let go- when he finally did her shirt was wet! I was told to say goodbye to her in her room and to not make her watch us drive off, but she and her roommate were headed to Target so we let them go on ahead. All of a sudden my little one "needed one more hug" and took off running to catch her. He did. There we stood on the sidewalk, and SHE finally lost it! We were all headed to the same area so she did end up walking with us to the car. Between the room and the final goodbye, I can't count on just one hand how many big hugs nd wet goodbyes we must have had.
I actually loved seeing her bouncing off with her roommate, God gave me a sense of peace and clarity she was off on her new adventure! Bitter sweet as my little one rolled down his window with tears streaming down his face hollering, "Bye Sissy, I Love You!" Thankfully she had her big beautiful smile as she waved goodbye!
I will confess, the drive home was MUCH LONGER than the drive up and the tears came and went in waves, the worst were pulling in to home. I haven't gone near her room yet, just can't handle the emptiness of it quite yet. In my devotional today, God gave me this scripture:
Though the mountains may be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the Lord, who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:10
Today, I will stand under His love relying on His peace!
My scripture for my little bird on her first full day on her new adventure:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13
I believe that my baby girl's wings are working!
The physical part actually wasn't near as bad as I expected. The university has it down! Move in was certainly organized and her tons of stuff, plus her roommates all seemed to fit in that 16x10 space, and it ended up looking really cute.
The challenging part, of course was emotionally. I woke up yesterday with a pit in my stomach, crawled in bed with her to wake her up and of course the river started flowing- I couldn't believe she had her last night in her bed, under my roof before college. I still can't figure out where the time has gone!
The worst part was waking up my ten year old. The second he opened his eyes, he uttered, "no", and started into a full cry. It was heartbreaking. The realization that THE DAY had finally come was more than either of us could stand. My little one couldn't stop the tears until we got on the road. He and I rode with her in her car, and my husband and other son took the overflowing suburban! It was a great trip up- chatting, listening to her favorite music, it's amazing how fast that 3+ hour car trip went. I think my saving grace was watching her excitement and enthusiasm grow!
Fast forward from unpacking, organizing....a "linner (lunch/dinner) break......to DEPARTURE! The interesting thing was, I think she was kind of ready for us to go. Her roommates parents were long gone and 4 extra people in the room was getting overwhelming. Despite a hiccup with the printer set up, it was pretty much all done. I was actually feeling okay, until my little one was hugging her so tight with lots of tears. He just couldn't let go- when he finally did her shirt was wet! I was told to say goodbye to her in her room and to not make her watch us drive off, but she and her roommate were headed to Target so we let them go on ahead. All of a sudden my little one "needed one more hug" and took off running to catch her. He did. There we stood on the sidewalk, and SHE finally lost it! We were all headed to the same area so she did end up walking with us to the car. Between the room and the final goodbye, I can't count on just one hand how many big hugs nd wet goodbyes we must have had.
I actually loved seeing her bouncing off with her roommate, God gave me a sense of peace and clarity she was off on her new adventure! Bitter sweet as my little one rolled down his window with tears streaming down his face hollering, "Bye Sissy, I Love You!" Thankfully she had her big beautiful smile as she waved goodbye!
I will confess, the drive home was MUCH LONGER than the drive up and the tears came and went in waves, the worst were pulling in to home. I haven't gone near her room yet, just can't handle the emptiness of it quite yet. In my devotional today, God gave me this scripture:
Though the mountains may be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the Lord, who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:10
Today, I will stand under His love relying on His peace!
My scripture for my little bird on her first full day on her new adventure:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13
I believe that my baby girl's wings are working!
Friday, August 10, 2012
TOMORROW!! Boo hoo!
Fourteen August's ago I recall being very nervous about my first born starting kindergarten, well let me just say that I am pretty sure this is 100,000 times harder than that one was- and it certainly wasn't an easy one!! We have certainly aquired more than the perfect backpack and lunchbox! The car is packed (my front room is back to normal, empty of all the clutter), and I can't even wrap my head around the fact that this is where we are- taking our baby girl to college TOMORROW!
It is strange to be so overcome with a mixture of emotions. Grief that she is moving away and excitement that she is about to experience the wonderful collegiate experience! Oh may God please bless my baby girl in the coming days, weeks and months!
Going to tuck her in one last time before she is officially a college student, our early departure time will be here before I know it!
It is strange to be so overcome with a mixture of emotions. Grief that she is moving away and excitement that she is about to experience the wonderful collegiate experience! Oh may God please bless my baby girl in the coming days, weeks and months!
Going to tuck her in one last time before she is officially a college student, our early departure time will be here before I know it!
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Puddles!
Puddles is the only way to describe my surroundings right now. I live constantly on the edge of tears are fully in them, and I am NOT exaggerating! Saw full blown tears from my little bird for the first time last night while hugging her grandmother and telling her "see you later"- (remember, NO goodbyes). That was really rough.
Having a family dinner before she left at one of her favorite Austin restaurants, while a wonderful get together, has pushed me over the edge. My mom gave her this beautiful little wooden Palm Cross that was hand carved without any finish. The oils from your hands as you rub it in prayer, worry, when overwhelmed...will become the finish. Clearly she knows my baby girl so well as her hardwiring allows her to become easily overwhelmed, and this will be the perfect reminder. She included a precious note citing Psalm 121 (perfect scripture to be reminded of at this time).
Psalm 121
I will lift my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip- He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed He who watches over Israel will neither slumber or sleep.
The Lord watches over you- the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm- He will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.
We took pictures of each family's hands on her little wooden cross as a reminder that those hands that have loved her and watched her grow up into the amazing young woman she is will be praying for her on this next adventure in her life!
As her mother, I am so thankful that she has so much love in her life- but most of all, she is deeply loved by THE ONE who made her and as hard as this transition is, HE is watching over her. Yes, my puddle is BIG and wet!
Palmcrossbyron.com
Having a family dinner before she left at one of her favorite Austin restaurants, while a wonderful get together, has pushed me over the edge. My mom gave her this beautiful little wooden Palm Cross that was hand carved without any finish. The oils from your hands as you rub it in prayer, worry, when overwhelmed...will become the finish. Clearly she knows my baby girl so well as her hardwiring allows her to become easily overwhelmed, and this will be the perfect reminder. She included a precious note citing Psalm 121 (perfect scripture to be reminded of at this time).
Psalm 121
I will lift my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip- He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed He who watches over Israel will neither slumber or sleep.
The Lord watches over you- the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm- He will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.
We took pictures of each family's hands on her little wooden cross as a reminder that those hands that have loved her and watched her grow up into the amazing young woman she is will be praying for her on this next adventure in her life!
As her mother, I am so thankful that she has so much love in her life- but most of all, she is deeply loved by THE ONE who made her and as hard as this transition is, HE is watching over her. Yes, my puddle is BIG and wet!
Palmcrossbyron.com
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Guest Blogger: The Things I am Going To Miss About My Sissy
My mom is letting me be a guest writer on her blog. My sissy leaves in 5 days and I try not to cry (I am getting really good at that). I am going to miss her so much. I am going to miss everything, her company, her letting my lay in her bed and "chillax" with her, taking long walks with her, making YouTube videos, her tucking me in my bed at night (especially when there is a storm), sitting next to me at the dinner table, her being my biggest cheerleader, watching TV with her and last but not least I am going to miss her loving on me with her big hugs every day!
The good news is, my mom has promised me for years that when my sissy leaves for college I get to get a texting app! Time to set that sucker up!!
It is hard to be 10 and have my sister leave for college.
The good news is, my mom has promised me for years that when my sissy leaves for college I get to get a texting app! Time to set that sucker up!!
It is hard to be 10 and have my sister leave for college.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
See You Later- NOT Goodbye!
A week from today, she will be waking up in her dorm room for the first time, and we will be starting our new chapter of life without her daily prescence. Things will be quieter, and I imagine we will have a little sadness to overcome. My encouragement comes from all the exciting experiences she has ahead of her, however my thoughts have been going to that place of the fact that this is the end of her living with us. Yes, she will come home for weekends, summers, holidays....but we will become temporary housing and the odds of her ever living here again are slim. It feels so strange.
Last night we attended a local alumni group send off party for her University! It was wonderful to meet other students and parents from the area, along with visiting with representatives from the university. I have no doubt that she isn't in great hands, in fact I don't think we could have found a better fit for her. In the midst of my sadness, I am so thankful for the glimpses of how this next step is no doubt the right step!
The list of needs is getting smaller, you can hardly walk into my front room anymore! the calendar is full with appointments, get together and "goodbyes" with family and friends in the next few days. I have decided that we shouldn't be calling them "goodbyes", but "see you laters". It's a little easier for my to look at it that way!
Last night we attended a local alumni group send off party for her University! It was wonderful to meet other students and parents from the area, along with visiting with representatives from the university. I have no doubt that she isn't in great hands, in fact I don't think we could have found a better fit for her. In the midst of my sadness, I am so thankful for the glimpses of how this next step is no doubt the right step!
The list of needs is getting smaller, you can hardly walk into my front room anymore! the calendar is full with appointments, get together and "goodbyes" with family and friends in the next few days. I have decided that we shouldn't be calling them "goodbyes", but "see you laters". It's a little easier for my to look at it that way!
Friday, August 3, 2012
Laundry 101
I KNOW, I KNOW!!!! 8 days before she leaves is a little late to start teaching laundry skills, BUT, while I Hate strongly dislike laundry, I have developed a way to find joy while doing it. As I fold each person's clothes in my family, that is committed prayer time specifically for them. That is a hard thing to give up when I am constantly thinking about how much I am going to miss her.
I have equipped her with simple ways to sort- especially for all her delicate clothes (which i am most worried about, so they have there very own special bag!), Tide Pods to just throw in, Febreeze refreshener of fabrics for rewears (I have highly recommended this for the dry clean things), stain sticks, dryer sheets...... You name it, it is amongst the clutter in my front room.
One bit of good news, we dont have to send her with quarters. LAUNDRY is FREE (ha, you haven't seen our tuition, room and board bill!)
I have equipped her with simple ways to sort- especially for all her delicate clothes (which i am most worried about, so they have there very own special bag!), Tide Pods to just throw in, Febreeze refreshener of fabrics for rewears (I have highly recommended this for the dry clean things), stain sticks, dryer sheets...... You name it, it is amongst the clutter in my front room.
One bit of good news, we dont have to send her with quarters. LAUNDRY is FREE (ha, you haven't seen our tuition, room and board bill!)
Off for the lessons, and NO, I am not going to mind if she brings home tons of laundry, more prayer time for my baby bird!
Thursday, August 2, 2012
9 DAYS, really only 8 as this one is almost over....boo hoo!
The count down is NOT fun. We are now into single digits. My youngest had a weepy moment today, and let me just tell you how that doesn't do this momma any favors! He was also concerned about whether Santa would find her in Fort Worth, he was certainly relieved to find out she would be home for Christmas. My middle son was telling someone today that he was going to miss her because they were really close. Clearly my little bird leaving is NOT going to just be hard for me, the brothers are going to miss their sissy! I know this change will draw my boys together and I am excited to see what God does with their relationship..... A little glimmer of good I can already see. The address labels I ordered today with HER name and an address in another city brought me right back to weepy mode- ughhhh!
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Time is Short (13 Days)
"Your time is short, make the most of it", spoken in church today, "they will be leaving for college before you know it." 13 DAYS TO BE EXACT, was what i was screaming on the inside!!! This was a sermon about 2 Timothy 3:16-17 encouraging parents to rely on and instruct from God's Word. I am sure I haven't done this perfectly so it confirms my desire to pour God's word and truth into her daily. I am currently gathering together scripture and have set a goal to text her an applicable truth daily while she is away. I was already planning to do this, but today's sermon was certainly confirmation that this is what I should do! Please share your favorite scripture of encouragement with me to pass on!
Saturday, July 28, 2012
My Little Bird Is Valuable to HIM!
"Parent birds begin to teach their fledglings the importance of flying by remaining a short distance away from the nest during feeding. If the young birds are to survive, they must step away from the nest. Frequently, this means a few hard falls to the ground followed a long trip back to the safety of the nest.". Www.wisegeek.com
While thinking non stop about my little bird leaving the nest in 2 WEEKS, I ponder the above thinking about the fact that graduation from high school signifies a necessary next step for their survival in the big bad world! I have been so caught up in my own grief (I know that may sound a bit dramatic, however there doesn't seem to be any other way to describe the raw emotion), that I haven't really faced the potential "hard falls to the ground."
I must confess that I am not sure I always remained a short distance away while she has been growing up- I tended to be right there with her, helping or YIKES, doing it for her, so I may have set my little bird for some crash landings which makes me kind of sad! I am certainly thankful that she whole heartily belongs to the Lord and I am trusting that HE has got her covered and my prayer is that HE will cushion her falls! No worrying allowed for this momma- my little bird is valuable to THE ONE who created her!!
Matthew 6:25-27 NIV
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
Friday, July 27, 2012
15 days (who's counting? ME!)
15 days until we move our first born precious baby girl into her college dorm room a little over 3 hours away from home (ME)! It happens to be the same dorm I moved into 27 years ago, and my sister 21 years ago, and no, it hasn't been updated but will actually be torn down in May of 2013 after my daughter experiences all of her college first's under that roof that housed her mom and aunt- pretty cool! I couldn't be more excited about all that is ahead for her, BUT I am heartbroken for myself and how much I am going to miss the joy she brings to our house.
There is a room in my house full of purchases from The Container Store, Target, Bed Bath and Beyond that we have been acquiring the past few weeks, between you and me, I wouldn't mind if it just stayed right there, cluttered and out of place. When I walk in that room, I know that it will all be moving 3 hours away with my "heart". Not a day goes by that the tears don't fall, often while just sitting in the middle of all the "stuff" (sometimes the ugly cry comes) and I know that the "River Lisa" in heaven is flowing strong! Boy, I am thankful my tears mean something to God because my husband and sons just look at me like I am a little crazy! (I know their rivers will flow pulling away on move in day as they are going to all miss her like crazy too).
The college dorm "stuff", currently cluttering my pretty front room that is moving out in 15 days, causes me to reflect on the fact that no matter how physically ready we get, trusting my mothering and her wings feels a little risky. I pray daily that God covers me and fills in the gaps where I have had missteps, AND that HE is the one that helps her to soar- it is HIM I have to put my trust in!
This blog is my attempt to journal our steps, document what I know in my heart will be God's goodness and faithfulness along with hopefully some humor to help me endure while I know the "River Lisa" will be flowing like never before!
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